Condoms: CATCH IT - BIN IT - KILL IT!

...Frankly, I don't give a damn about Xmas...

Or, should I call it giftmas instead? 

Xmas equals too much pretentiousness for me, it's not appealing whatsoever. 

I never make the house Xmassy, I never bother. 

With the market celebrating (sell-ebrating) Xmas since August time, by mid November one is sick of the whole thing.