...Foodie penpal April reveal...

That was my first month of foodie penpals. What a great fun I had preparing a parcel for Emily and receiving a parcel from Teresa!
 

Sending

 

I was selected to post a parcel to lovely Emily. She runs an amazing blog, posting about recipes, restaurant reviews and more. What a kind lady you are, Emily! (Emily emailed me back to say that she loved her parcel of goodies.) 

I had great fun preparing her parcel. It included food in groups, all labelled up for her (blame my OCD for this, Emily). 

Some of the groups were:

breakfast...
exotic...
tea time...
on the go...
nostalgia...
nature...
etc.

I included some sweet temptations, some healthier options, some exotic tea... and for more info, you should visit Emily's blog, as she is certainly going to post about it.

The fun highlight of my parcel was my attempt to draw some flowers and a 'mad cow' holding a balloon, something I hadn't done since school. I am no Picasso, but I hope she liked them :-)

Receiving

 

I received a parcel from Teresa who lives in Devonshire. What a great parcel that was!!!! The postman put a huge smile on my face!

The parcel included the following: 

• a beautiful hand-written card - notice the front: garden herbs!
• some amazing green tea jasmine: great for my slimming regime. Oh, and it also has a lovely aroma.
• Italian tomato and vegetable purée: I am using it in curries. It tastes delice!
• clove extract: just wow! For a start, I didn't even know that this product existed. I had to do a bit of googling, and apparently clove extract functions as a healthy antioxidant in herbal teas. 
• lunch box mini snacks - I loved these: my favourite was 'sultanas and apple'. My birds also had some of the sultanas - not many, because I am greedy and I ate most of them myself. 
• a bag of 'breakfast sprinkle' mix of dried fruits and seeds - it gave a wonderful flavour to my everyday porridge. I still have a few of these left and I am making plans to use them in baking (it would taste great in oat cookies). 
• oaty bakes = a healthy guilt-free cheesy snack I ate yesterday, post-workout.
• spicy English mustard sauce: this is great with red meat. British mustard tastes different than French mustard :-) (much better, if you ask me). 
• a healthy 9bar, pumpkin flavour. That was absolutely delicious. 
• a 'salmon and basil butter filo parcels' recipe. I have not tried this recipe yet, but Teresa could actually read my mind when she sent me this recipe: I adore filo pastry and when I am not bored, I make my own from scratch. I also love salmon.

I absolutely adore Foodie penpals!

You should try it too.

Do you want to try foodie penpal too? Click on the foodie penpal picture on the side of my blog to find out more.

...Review of 'Muslims in Britain - University of Cardiff' MOOC (Futurelearn)

I took and completed this course and I loved it. In general, I would say that the level of difficulty of this MOOC was equivalent to 1st year undergraduate. It was a straight forward course, the typical distance-learning type, combining videos, articles, pdfs, other material (e.g. external websites).

The only thing missing was... podcasts... mp3s that I could export to my ipod and follow certain units of the course on the go; a feature that I know for sure that is provided by other courses on Futurelearn (e.g. by the courses provided by the University of Leicester).

The issues discussed were very catchy. The course examined a variety of topics, including the basics about Islam, history of Muslims in Britain, aspects of British Muslim identity, problems that Muslims face in Britain, what a British Muslim chaplain does, British Muslims on the media, etc.

See? The course was for everyone, no matter your religion, your background and where you are from. I gather the impression that my co-students reached the same conclusion.

My favourite part of the course was week four, and the mention of an artist / photographer named Peter Sanders. Oh these pictures are great!

The discussion was vivid throughout the course, but talking 'media', our keyboard caught fire. I participated in most discussion - me and my thirsty passion for knowledge :-)

The course required approximately 4 hours of studying per week, which in my opinion was about right. There were a few tests / quizzes, and one optional assignment on week three. I was happy to take all of them.

The course was not mistake-free. There was a mistake of information on week 2, but was corrected by the educator straight away. There was also a slight problem with one of the questions at the very end of week four... the one about the chaplain (I am not spoiling the surprise for you - sorry). 

After completion I felt happy, it was the first Futurelearn course I completed after all. I think that I will receive some certification that I attended this course - a shareable page about what I have learnt (info as in 31 / March 2014, when I am writing this post). The cost was free, and so will be this shareable page. What more should I ask for? Something I will definitely put on my CV if I ever apply to work with the council or with minorities (I am into this sort of work, you know).

I figured out that one cannot take loads of MOOCs at the same time. It is easier for me to take one MOOC at a time, and that is what I did with 'Muslims in Britain'.

Because, try taking this course together with i.e. causes of war (a very demanding MOOC of Futurelearn) and you will realise that studying two courses at the same time is a bit too much for you, especially if you are struggling with free time (tested by myself - I tried to take 3 MOOCs at the same time - unsuccessfully).

So, how would I mark this course on the basis of other Futurelearn courses I am taking? 8/10! 

Congrats Cardiff, because I am very very strict with my marking!!!
I am sure that your future sessions will be even better! You have the potential to change the viewpoint of modern society in Britain.

...Acne...

On a previous post I mentioned the facial hair problem and my manly attitude. Here I discuss another problem of mine: spots!

I was full of spots when I was a teen. I tried everything, from creams to antibiotics, and the results were from average to ...average. 

Ance is kind of normal when we are in our teens, and maybe a bit later, up to let's say the mid 20s. But I have a serious problem of acne. Acne has never gone away in my case, and I am now approaching my late 30s. 

It is very embarrassing. I am full of spots and it is difficult to treat the problem. It ia also difficult for people to be sympathetic about it. They think that I am sort of a weirdo - which is true - but a nice weirdo indeed. 

So, where do I get spots? On my chin. On my face in general. On my back. It's not a matter of eating unhealthily. I eat healthily, I exercise regularly, I wash every day. Of course it's a hormonal problem, I know this already.

Down goes the confidence.

Well. I suppose I have to live with it. 

...Tips for volunteering...

If you often volunteer for the local community, doing anything (from looking after abandoned pets to working in a charity shop) then the following may sound familiar to you. 

Have you ever thought of how rewarding you work is? 

Not just because you get to get work experience and new skills, improve your CV, make new friends, raise your confidence levels and even find a paid job because of your voluntary services. 

But because you dedicate YOUR time to an objective, a cause, something you believe in. And it all pays back if you do it right. 

But before you start considering voluntary work, take a moment and think of the reasons you would like to volunteer, what you really like to do, how much time you can afford, and even, where this volunteering will take you. 

Now, let's discuss these 4 points separately:

Reasons

Do you wish to volunteer because you simply love getting out the house and making new friends? Or, because you think that you will get new skills and networking opportunities that may help you find a job in the future? Or both? Or because you simply love working with children or for the local church? There might be thousands of reasons for you to volunteer, so throw them in the mix. Be yourself and go for what you like, for the reasons you like.

Types of volunteering

Not all types of volunteering are for everyone. If you are emotional, volunteering with terminally ill patients may not be for you. 

If you are allergic to certain animals, please do not volunteer with pets. 

If you can't leave the house, consider volunteering your time from home - many organisations look for volunteers who work from home. 

VOLUNTEERING IS FOR EVERYONE. Yes! Even for people with mental problems, learning difficulties or special needs. Do what you can and what you are able of doing. And always say no if you think you cannot do something. Do not pretend! You are there to volunteer. Nobody is going to kick you out if you deny lifting some garden pots if your back is in pain. Do not trespass your mind and body limits!

Time

Talking about limits... time is an issue. How much of your free time can you offer to a cause? 

Be honest. When you attend an interview or an open event for new volunteers, talk to the manager or volunteer coordinator about how much time you are willing to afford to the cause. Mention which days you are normally available / unavailable and how many hours you are willing to volunteer per week / month. 

How about setting your own schedule for your voluntary work? Remember: your manager will appreciate this. 

Goal

Many volunteers are retired. They sometimes miss their job and volunteer their time because they simply love keeping their mind and body active, while they enjoy making new friends. 

If you are a teenager, you may wish to volunteer in order to complete your Duke of Edinburgh award. 

Many younger volunteers volunteer because they need to get the skills that will allow them to enter the job market in the future. For instance, many university students who read heritage studies volunteer in museums. 

Volunteering looks great on your CV, especially if you are out of work. Let's be honest: these pauses in you employment history  aren't good. Fill them with volunteering and voilà... you increase your chances to land a job! 

Now, if you are looking for job experience as a (normally) younger volunteer, there are some unpaid internships out there that might be better for you. These normally require more involvement and time than any other voluntary role, but thanks to them, you may land a job in your preferred field (not guaranteed but let us hope you do so). Internships are often accompanied by a 'contract' that you have to sign. 

Lastly, there are three things that I need to mention in order to close this post:

1) Take things seriously. When you volunteer, be a professional. Apply for volunteering in a rather professional manner, attend an interview in a rather professional manner, and work in a rather professional manner.

2) Learn to say 'I can't do this'. Learn to say 'no'. Learn to say that you need help for something you were asked to do. Learn to ask why. Learn to communicate with fellow volunteers and with the manager. You are no superhero, you have no superpowers and your time is not unlimited. Also, understand that you are there to get something back. You are not there to cover staff shortages but if you are not happy, or if you feel that you are exploited, learn to set your own limits for everything you do. Or stop volunteering - and start volunteering for something else. Simple. 

3) If you are not into the whole volunteering thing (and you rather get paid for your work instead), please do not volunteer. Nobody is pushing you to volunteer. It is there as an option. You either take it or leave it. 

Have fun whatever you do!

...Tips on taking MOOCs...

There are no strict rules when it comes to online, distance learning education. You can take a course literally anywhere, from your sofa to the bus. What is astonishing is that very many of these courses are completely free!

I started taking online courses in 2005. I found the whole process fascinating because MOOCs are very flexible - you read when you are ready and when you feel like it. Wanna study in the middle of the night? Nobody is going to stop you.

MOOC courses consist of articles, podcasts, videos, images... I frequently do the coursework when going out, listening to the podcasts on the go. But I love the videos too! And the virtual lectures! I find articles a bit boring, but I was never good at learning something from text.

If you are an experienced MOOCer then you can stop reading now. I am saying nothing new after all. 

But if you are new to MOOCs I introduce three major sources of free online education: UDACITY, COURSERA, FUTURLEARN. I have used these and I recommend them.

For other course providers click here. 

Now, you need to decide whether you want to do a course in order to learn something new without getting any qualifications, or in order to get some sort of qualification after the end of the course.

I usually go for courses that provide qualifications; courses that I can even mention on my CV. 

I do take courses that provide no qualifications, but only because I like the topic. I also mention them on my CV; after all, I have done the work! I am proud of completing them! 

But generally speaking, a course that provides some certifications is better than a course that provides nothing in the end. Also, check who is the course provider: reputable universities are the best providers out there!

Do you want to know - at a glance - if your selected courses / topics provide qualifications? Do you want to know what courses are offered and when?

Then visit this website. Even though I would recommend you to double check the information.

Don't go mad and start taking many courses at the same time. If you study them properly, they are time consuming and ...even hard work!

Generally speaking, I advise you to take one course at a time. Complete one course, then start another. You will be more motivated if you do so.

Also, take courses that interest you. There is no point taking courses that you won't enjoy, otherwise you risk abandoning the course from week one (dropouts are very common in MOOCs).

Before you take any courses check your availability. Can you afford the time to do this course? MOOCs come with instructions. For instance, the tutors recommend you to study for a specific number of hours a week. 

In many courses there is a quiz at the end of every week. You can take this in order to test your progress. Courses that provide qualifications may be accompanied by more 'academic-style' exams. Do you want to take these exams or not? You don't want to take an exam if you hate exams! Does the course charge you for taking an exam, or for a statement of accomplishment? And if yes, can you afford the cost? 

Most importantly, make the most of online forums! Discuss the course material. Comment on other people's comments! Participate in discussions! Meet up with your co-students! Be there. This is your online 'university' space, you are studying something after all.

I am not an academic but there is something telling me that MOOCs have great potential. With university fees sky-rocketed, MOOCs could be THE FUTURE in university education. 

So, are you taking any MOOCs? Tempted?

...Third gender...

Third gender. Not a man, not a woman. Simply 'other' gender. 

Wikipedia states  

'To different cultures or individuals, a third gender may represent an intermediate state between man and woman, a state of being both (such as "the spirit of a man in the body of a woman"), the state of being neither (neuter), the ability to cross or swap genders, another category altogether independent of men and women'.

No matter how you define yourself, you are who you are. Be proud of yourself!

Some famous people or groups of people who define/d themselves as 'third gender' (or they were defined by society as such) are

• South African sprinter Caster Semenya
• boxer Nong Tum
• the hijras of India, Bangladesh and Pakistan. 
• the Sworn virgins of the Balcans
• the Fa'afafine

No matter where you are in the world, you are not alone. Society, polity, everyone, MUST learn to respect you.

Read also 'Third Gender – Equality and Truth'
Recent legislation changes in Germany

From wikipedia,  Anna P., who lived for many years as a man in Germany, was photographed for Magnus Hirschfeld's book Sexual Intermediates in 1922.

...Review of 'Pink Floyd - Wish You Were Here (Feat. Stéphane Grappelli)'...

This is a unique version of the song 'Wish
You Were Here' sung by Pink Floyd, with the addition of a solo of the 'grandfather of jazz violin', Stephane Grappelli.  

It is a masterpiece! Very smooth, slightly jazzy and melancholic, with country highlights, it promises to please all nostalgic hearts out there. 



Don't get me wrong! I love the original song, but for now, this version is my ear-candy. (OK, I admit I love it more than the original).


Grappelli and Pink Floyd happened to record their albums at the same time and at the same studio, but on different floors. They eventually met up and started recording together, but when the original version of 'wish you were here' went public, Grappelli was not credited in the Pink Floyd album, as added music effects had covered his violin part of the song.



The song was recorded in 1975, but was only circulated in 2011, when Pink Floyd circulated a 'remastered' version of their studio albums. It was a big surprise that this version had survived the time and over-recordings, Nick Mason, drummer of Pink Floyd, said.

...MOOCS...

MOOC is a bit of a funny name. The web definition is:

A massive open online course is an online course aimed at unlimited participation and open access via the web...

Here is a picture of what a MOOC is (via wikipedia). 

Effectively, MOOCs are online 'learning for life'. I follow some of these MOOCs on Futurelearn and Udacity.  Are you taking any?? Obviously, there, you will find me with my real name, not with my pen name, but if you are interested in following me I can give you more info via private communication.

I have already completed 'Muslims in Britain' via Futurelearn. I am going to review it soon. Come back to read the review. 

I am also planning to post about 'how to select the right MOOC for you' (coming very soon).

...A note on lookism...

This incident took place in London underground a couple of days ago. Think morning rush hour. The train was packed. People were nervously getting on and off the train wishing they could fly to get to work faster.

I was sitting next to one of the main carriage doors, when a family got onto the train. Mum, dad, a couple of children. You say, an ordinary family?

Dad was about 40, mum in her late 30s. The one  'child' was a young lad, about 14 years old. The other, a little girl, about 5 years old.

The little girl had severe facial deformities. Not because of an accident, but because she was born with a medical condition. 

Now, I am not an expert in genetics and medicine, but I often read about syndromes. I know the name of the syndrome, I have seen relevant pictures of patients before, and maybe a couple of relevant videos. I could tell that the girl I saw has Treacher Collins Syndrome. Yes, the facial characteristics of the girl were spot-on the typical signs of TCS. Downward slanting eyes, malformed ears, etc. But does it matter?

I am going to stand on what happened on the train.

Someone offered the mother a seat - and the girl sat on the lap of her mother. That could be the happy end of the story. 

But it wasn't. Simply because I noticed how the fellow train passengers looked at the little girl. 

Now, trust me. I didn't stare. I only caught a glimpse of the girl. And that was it. Normality is the key. Normality, respect, a welcoming approach. But others did stare...persistently! Something that personally annoyed me. What are you looking at?

How that mother might have felt? Now, if I were the mother of that girl I would be angry with so many of the passengers, just because of the way they were staring at my daughter! But she acted normally (I approved of her behaviour and I really admire(d) her, she did the right thing). 

Two ladies were standing next to me. The one signalled and gestured to the other about the looks of the little girl, in an attempt to silently describe how the girl looked like. Gestures about the girl's mouth, etc...

The girl was just a little girl, a little bit different maybe, but people around her were staring at her like she was a freak of nature. They should be ashamed of themselves! And those two women (above), who turned their head deliberately so that they look at the girl and explore her facial features better, signalling to each other about it, these women were so inhumane!

Why are we judged about the way we look? No matter how we look like, we are always judged because of our looks...

For issues such as:

Oh, she is fat...
Oh, she is too short...
Oh, he has a funny nose...

Oh... he is very feminine...
Oh, he has manboobs...
Oh, she has facial hair...
Oh, she has malformed ears...
Oh, she is 'no-oil-painting'...

Oh, he has no legs...
Oh, she has one arm...
Oh, his face is deformed...
Oh, her skin is pale...

Oh, his hair is ginger...
Oh, she is black...

People are mean, no matter what. People will ALWAYS judge you, they will always find something negative to say.

I am angry with people. I know that there is research out there that says that people are naturally attracted to beauty and proportionate characteristics but sorry! I have to disagree with lookism. Beauty is really beyond looks. It is something much deeper than skin and bones. 

Then I thought of Lizzy. Lizzy who has changed my view of seeing the world (you should really watch her inspirational video). I get emotional every single time I watch it. 

Lizzy. Lizzy! And the girl on the train. And these statistics that are so alarming!

How can we all learn to see and think with the heart instead of using the brain (and our sexual hormones)? How can we all learn to appreciate people for their identity and personality, and not for their looks and psychical characteristics? How can we all learn to value ourselves (and the others) for who we are, and not for how we look like?

If homo homini lupus (and many people out there have a wolf in their heart) luckily there is veritas, bonitas, pulchritudo, sanctitas... and they all come from within. 

We need more cultural education. This is the key to the solution of the problem. Discrimination must end.

...Review: Indila...

Indila - Dernière Danse

How is your French? 



So, this song (click on orange link ^) and music video, is currently my favourite. No idea if it is popular or even 'known' in the UK. You see, I have no telly at home and I do not follow the local top 10. This is certainly one of the top songs in France. The woman has an incredible voice! And well-worked singing skills too.


Indila combines world music (and particularly Indian or Arabic music) to French pop, and boy, she does it perfectly! 



There are more songs of hers that I recommend... 



Here you go:

Indila - Tourner Dans Le Vide (Indian influences)

Indila - Thug Mariage (Arabic and Indian influences)

...There's something about Mary...

This is my story. 

I (often) define myself as a 'woman'. Womanhood is not associated with motherhood. 

When I was a little girl I never played with dolls and I never imagined having children when getting older.

People used to say to me back then... 

'You'll change your mind'. 

I did think that one day I would change my mind. I was told that, at some point in life, the maternal / paternal instinct kicks in, and men and women desperately want to have children. 

In my early 20s I somehow felt that a baby might be a good idea, but I was never overexcited about having kids. After all, I was a university student and my relationships were not that serious back then. Society kept reminding me that I should get married and have children.

In my mid twenties my desire to have children disappeared altogether. I had other plans; and I had not found Mr right yet. 

That glimpse of desire never came back. In fact, the exact opposite happened. Somehow, I felt that I was not the right 'woman' to become a mother. My lack of maternal instinct and the fact that I could not bear being around children for more than a few hours only meant one thing: If I ever became a mother, it would be because of social pressure, and (I assure you) I would be a terrible mother!!!

I was getting older, reaching my 30s. I had found my other half; now, in effect, I could have kids - and I could even afford to have them. I decided to postpone it and see how I feel, as what was the point if I never felt like having them? Meanwhile, I started working with children. I really enjoyed working with young children (I worked with ages 4 to 9) but I realised that, in fact, I don't really like being around them (unless they pay me - and that is for 2-3 hours a day only).

Now, don't get me wrong, I would never harm (or hurt the feelings of) a child. I don't want to use the word 'hate' because I don't hate children. I simply don't like them that much - they are not for me. I don't particularly enjoy being around them.

In my early 30s people started 'brainwashing' me to procreate. But I was adamant. Was there anything wrong with me? Why did I not like children at the first place? Why did I not see myself as a parent-to-be? Why did I not have a maternal instinct? Was I facing the circumstances of a bad childhood?


In my mid thirties the pressure to procreate was hitting me from every direction. I felt that I could not cope any more. Yes, I was with the right person, but I could not JUST HAVE children and simply hope that everything would be OK. 

What if I really disliked being a mother?

I felt into depression and experienced severe anxiety. At some point, I stopped working with children and chose a different career path. Something I really really liked and did not involve little people. I am glad I did because now I can be myself at work. I don't pretend.

After receiving pressure from everyone, particularly from family and friends, I decided to start counselling, mainly because I needed therapy for my anxiety and insomnia. I believed that the social pressure to procreate (and try to be someone other than my real self) was to blame for these two health issues. 

I had several sessions of counselling. Over 10 sessions... I do recommend it to you. It is a very soul-searching experience and it certainly helps. 

What did I learn from this counselling? I learnt that in fact I was right! I was not ready to have children, and in fact, it looks like I will never ever be ready to have them. All evidence indicated that children aren’t for me. Having children would be a nightmare for me. It's as simple as that. So, from the childfree point of view, there was nothing wrong with me. I simply belong to a group of women who have no desire to have children.

It was confirmed therefore that the worst thing that could ever happen to me would be to become a mother. If I did, I would face several problems: depression, anxiety, and so on... and of course I would never wish for any children (including my own) to be unloved and undesired.

So, here I am, a childfree woman! I childfree woman who will never regret not having children. A childfree woman who enjoys being childfree, who is now doing well, simply because she doesn't have or want to have children. I read a lot about childfreedom, I participate in childfree communities and forums, I have many childfree friends - but I socialise with parents too. 

I am normal and I am not alone! There are thousands of women out there who think exactly like me.

So, if you think that one day you will see some baby pictures on this blog, this day will never come. 

Children are an option, a matter of choice. 

If you didn't like pets, would you ever have a pet at home, to look after 24/7, simply because everyone you know has a pet? I don't think so. Well, to me, having children is the same thing. 

Children aren't for everyone. 

And of course, having children is not a matter of a few years of looking after (as a pet might be). It's a long process of at least 18 years... A life-changing, soul-consuming, tiring experience; where your freedom will be lost for a couple of decades; and on average, costs  £ 150.000 (cost to raise a single child from their birth to age 18).

There are seven billion people on this planet, and this world is far from ideal. So, if I don't procreate, it won't matter that much. 

No thanks. 

...Pansies (2)...

Quick post to say that so far I have no news from the pansies. I re-watered them today. Sometimes they take a bit longer to sprout.

...A message to Emily - my foodie penpal for April...

Dear Emily,

Your parcel of foodie penpal goodies is on the post!

The Fairy of the Spring will deliver it to you, very very soon!

Have fun!

x

Mary

...Atheism / Agnosticism...

What makes people atheists / agnostic?

Although I understand that the two words are not synonymous, I do consider myself as a bit of both. 

This is a short story of how everything started in my case. 

I was raised a Christian. I was even christened once. I came from a family with a very religious (obsessed with religion) mother, a religious father, and a village society where religion played a crucial part in people's lives. Think 'extreme Catholics'. Extreme religion, where everything is done by the Bible. This is how my life was until I reached 20 years old. 

I started questioning the existence of god when I was in my mid twenties. I had completed a first degree, and postgraduate studies would follow next. 

In fact, I am happy to accept that the more I studied the more I ignored religion. The more I discovered myself, the more I ignored god.

The real U-turn happened when I reached by 30th birthday. 

I thought to myself... 

Just a minute. Where is god if so many people die everyday in this world... 
Where is god when innocent people are killed because of famine, illness, warfare?

Where is god when GLBT people are not considered 'legaly' religious by most churches out there?

Where is god for the childfree, when procreation is a must in most religions out there?

I am certainly very rational. I do not believe in the romanisation of  science. Science is science, don't get me started how the universe was created. (I am not a scientologist - no thanks, I am simply rational).

I do believe in the power of religion, but solely as an historical phenomenon. Not as a brainwashing and propagandistic medium of mind control, which was good enough for the Medieval times but not for the 21st century. And yes, I do respect religion - the religion of others. If you are religious, I will honour you for your beliefs, no matter what these are. It is your right to believe in what you like, and it is my right to believe in nothing if I want to. 

As for my soul, if you are concerned, it belongs to the dark side... which is all booked up by the childfree and the GLBT. Oh - and the lawyers and politicians too :-)

...Porn studies...

Porn studies is an academic publication. Yes, that is right, an open-access, international, peer-reviewed journal by Routledge. Most importantly, this is the first - and only - academic publication dedicated exclusively to porn. 

P-O-R-N. The 4-letter 'prohibited' word. 

And why not?

The first issue has two key papers titled 'Psychology and pornography: some reflections' and 'Gonzo, trannys, and teens - current trends in the US adult content production, distribution and consumption'. But don't stop reading, there is a lot more there for you to explore. 

You can read the journal here if you like. Click here for a news item about this journal on the Independent.

Is this the end of the taboo era in academia? 

...Petition...

Stand for a world where transgender individuals are free to define themselves.

Picture from www.change.org

Follow the link to read more

...20s hairstyles...

If you are like me, and you like all things 20s, then you may be after a 20s hairstyle to fresh up your looks. 

Here's some of my favourite hairstyles. 

Short wavy hair was very popular in the 20s. 

Glamourise it with some fab hair accessories.

Long hair? No problem.

For straight hair.

A great bridal or prom hairstyle. 

Or, just because...

I adore this hairstyle. 

The choice is yours.

...What happened that morning...

The following is a real story. I am not going to give any information about specific times, or the location of the incident, as this is a sensitive issue. Also, I have chosen not to share any details with you, as I don't want to upset my readers.

What I experienced was indeed something I will never forget.

I woke up that morning thinking that 'it's one of these days that I shouldn't leave the house'. I had a bad feeling... something telling me that it would be a long, difficult day. I had a train to catch, a 2.5 hour routine trip.

I stepped on my train, turned on my laptop and did some work while wearing earplugs. After an hour's work, I was placing my laptop back to my backpack and suddenly I heard that noise - now remember that I was still wearing  earplugs - still, the noise was impossible to ignore.

I said loudly 'this doesn't sound good to me'.

Two minutes later, the train stopped, and a woman's voice  (the train driver)  announced - obviously upset - that we had a fatality. It was all coming together. The train had just hit someone!

I remember the look on the face of one of the ladies working on the train, while she was running down the corridor.  A few minutes later, another lady was trying to sell us drinks with the food trolley - in an attempt to maintain normality or even take our mind away. 

The man on the table opposite was still doing work on his computer, like nothing had happened. I heard the silent cry of one of the passengers.

I was frozen.

The young lady next to me had an apathetic face. She took her smartphone out and updated her facebook status! She was obviously talking about what had just happened (and then I realised how people become inhumane on social networks).

To cut a long story short, the incident involved the police, ambulance (I will never forget these faces), and 3 more apologetic announcements by the obviously distressed train driver.

A few train changes and a few hours later, after rearranging and (thankfully) just about making it to complete my meetings for the day, I could not function. I was just about standing on my feet. I could not concentrate. I was absent-minded, lost my scarf, I could not even remember my passwords to log onto my university account...

I was thinking

Why was I on that train?
Poor person
Poor driver!
Was it an accident? Or a suicide? And if it was a suicide, why, oh why did this person decide to end their life?

A few hours later, I googled the event looking for news. Details were not provided about the deceased. Not even their sex was mentioned.

I was a bit pleased that all this information was not published. I do not want to link this event with a particular person. I did google things in the following days, but then I decided that it was best to stop! I try to protect my feelings. This is my safety mechanism.
 
For several days I kept thinking about what had happened, and my ability to concentrate was zero. I assume that other passengers, even those pretending that nothing had happened - felt exactly the same. 

But life goes on.

I am glad that I lost my scarf that day. Somehow I feel that it was better this way.

I am a rational woman, and an atheist too. I don't pray. But this doesn't mean I don't care.

I felt that I should do something. 24 hours after the incident I started propagating some cuttings after trimming the rosebush in the garden. Whoever you are, I am growing a new rosebush for you, and another one for the driver, wishing that, no matter where you are right now, the beauty of these plants will calm your souls. 

NB: (10 APR. 2014) I now know your name. Take care wherever you are.